Chicken I may look calm but in my head I’ve pecked you 3000 times shirt

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That I would give birth and lose her days, hours, or minutes after meeting her. Next, some concerns with her heart. The fear came rushing back, as this was a major organ more along the lines of what I had been worried was wrong. Something Chicken I may look calm but in my head I’ve pecked you 3000 times shirt, something life-threatening, something terminal. But still a heart issue? There are machines and technology that can help a heartbeat, that can fix a heart, aren’t there. Third, missing both forearms and hands. This felt like a punch to the gut. It stole my breath. It keeled me over and the sobs tore out of me, and visions of my perfect little baby shattered. No hands? I had never heard of this. It wasn’t on my radar.


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72 Years Of Angeles Lakers thank you for the memories signature shirt

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I will never have any pictures of him surrounded by friends in matching Paw Patrol party hats. Levi will never celebrate another birthday when we were on vacation in Alabama. It was quick and silent, and we weren’t even swimming. My husband and I always knew we wanted three kids. We had two girls: Lily: she is 10, but, of course, thinks she is 17. She was 72 Years Of Angeles Lakers thank you for the memories signature shirt greatest treasure and his real mom. Lily had infinite patience for his toddler antics. Her tiny heart is broken, and she has asked me often, through tears: ‘How did we not know, Mom? How did we not know he could drown when he was sitting on the couch. Reese. She is 6 and wants to be 6 forever and ever and ever. Reese and Levi were 24 months apart, a package deal: always squealing and chasing and squabbling.


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Pittsburgh Steelers Legends Shirt

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My husband asked Levi how many crabs are we going to catch tonight. Levi giggled: ‘So many, Dad. How could we have known that we would lose our cherished son before the crab-hunting trip even started, Levi wandered to the couch and I grabbed a brownie to split with him. I put half in his bowl and ruffled his hair. My son, this Pittsburgh Steelers Legends Shirt boy I loved with all of my beings, grinned up at me, delighted. This would be my final interaction with my son. My next steps were meaningless. Somehow, and even after reliving these moments countless times, I still only have the word somehow, Levi slipped out the back door without any of us seeing him.


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That the Brand New York Football Shirt

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But, we always took an annual summer beach trip to Fort Morgan, Alabama, which is the highlight of our summer. Each year, we have added a few new babies to the mix, with the grand total for 2018 being 17 kids, 9 and younger. It was our 7th year in this exact same house. Sunday, June 10, 2018, our first full day, was perfect. The kids ate That the Brand New York Football Shirt, swam, and rode a kayak in the ocean. In my final pictures of Levi, he is wearing a life jacket or puddle jumper. Flying a kite with his daddy: a life jacket. Playing in the pool with his big sister puddle jumper. I really thought I was doing everything right. I talked to Levi about the dangers of water. Just hours before he died, we walked past the pool. He asked me to carry him because the sand was hot on his feet.


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In a world full of basic witches be a malefigent Haloowin shirt

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My husband and I had arrived at the hospital separately. When I walked in and our eyes met, he told me. We are still a family.’ It set the tone, and we have fought every day to live intentionally despite this tragedy. We are determined to still give our daughters full childhoods and equally determined to spread this awareness we wish we had In a world full of basic witches be a malefigent Haloowin shirt. Drowning. It is hard to allow our minds to venture into this painful territory. So, we find the loophole for why this will never happen to our child. Our culture treats drowning as something that happens to neglectful parents, so we mentally check it off our list of worries. Because of this incorrect stigma, drowning is seen as a punishment. We think Kids can drown. Parents need to watch their kids when they swim. What else is there to know.



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Minnie Mouse Russi Taylor Thanks You For Memories 1944 2019 Signature Shirt

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We would later learn that a child under 30 pounds can drown in 30 seconds. I cannot remember the exact sounds that I hurled into the universe. Later, I would ask a friend, what was I screaming. How did you all know to come running. He would look at me, his eyes Minnie Mouse Russi Taylor Thanks You For Memories 1944 2019 Signature Shirt, determined to protect me in even this small way, and tell me, ‘It doesn’t matter. But, even I could feel the echoes of the anguished cry lingering in the air afterward. As I jumped into the pool and grabbed Levi, someone else grabbed his other arm at the exact same time. I had no idea who it was, but in that horrific moment that I am condemned to relive for eternity, I was not alone.


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Drugs The Line King Shirt

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In this most unimaginable of all moments, when Levi was not coughing up water as people do in the movies, I reared back my head in despair. Relationships Matter. More than anything else in this lifetime, people and connections with others matter. This split second of peace passed as quickly as it arrived, but not before etching itself into my Drugs The Line King Shirt. When I opened my eyes and looked toward the ocean, I saw a patch of the rainbow, its bright colors sketched vibrantly against the darkening evening sky. There was no light anywhere in the expanse of gray, except for these gleaming colors smeared and incomplete, like a child’s finger painting. My eyes locked onto this rainbow as time paused around me. The world had just cracked open and proven to me that life can change that it can end in an instant.


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Dream Theater 35th Anniversary Signatures Shirt

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We have to break the barriers. We have to talk about drowning because it is an epidemic that snatches nearly 1,000 innocent lives every year. If one of these Water Guardian tags had been hanging in our beach house on June 10, I believe my story would have unfolded differently. Once I discovered these statistics, I was furious at this monster that Dream Theater 35th Anniversary Signatures Shirt my son when I didn’t even know how to protect him. I knew I had to fight back. As a person who believes in shared human experience, I could not sit back all summer and watch as more children drowned. I had an idea that I believe would have saved Levi. It is a tag that someone wears to designate that person as a Water Guardian. The laminated card serves as a reminder to the Water Guardian to watch the kids EVEN when they are not swimming.


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Once Upon A Time Brad Pitt Cliff Booth Champion Spark Plug Shirt

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Make sure the fence has self-closing and latching gates. Utilize pool and door alarms. Supervision: Designate a Water Guardian anytime there is access to water, even if the children are not swimming. Enroll your child in quality swim lessons that lead to water competence. All swim lessons are not created equal. Progress should happen in weeks and Once Upon A Time Brad Pitt Cliff Booth Champion Spark Plug Shirt, not in years. Lessons should provide your child with the skills to survive if they were to fall into the pool. The American Academy of Pediatrics now recommends swim lessons can begin at age 1. These lessons should focus on self-rescue and teach your child how roll-to-float or how to get to the side of the pool. I firmly believe that swim lessons would have saved Levi, and I will carry this regret for the rest of my life.


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Cowboys Dak Prescott And Ezekiel Elliott Signature Shirt

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Yet, we are and we will. We are determined that Levi’s legacy will not be one of anger and bitterness but of love and shared connections and hope. Put in layers of protection to prevent drowning. Love each other. Choose to live a purposeful life. I found out about my daughter Ivy’s limb differences at 19 weeks. My husband was away for Cowboys Dak Prescott And Ezekiel Elliott Signature Shirt, so my mother and sister came with me to my ultrasound appointment to help corral my toddler and get a glimpse of the baby. I remember that ultrasound took forever but the tech told me that the baby’s legs were crossed and in a difficult position to determine gender. I thought nothing of it. We all commented on her cute little toes and got pictures printed, and we didn’t even notice that there was no mention of her hands.


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3.6 Roentgen Not Great Not Terrible Vintage Shirt

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I just want to keep my baby. I just want to keep her,’ I whispered. She was already so deeply entrenched in my heart, already a piece of me, a part of my being. I didn’t want to lose her. At that moment, I felt like I told myself that maybe some people would care about a few minor things, like a cleft lip, but I wouldn’t as long as my 3.6 Roentgen Not Great Not Terrible Vintage Shirt was healthy. But there was more. Next, one femur was curved and shorter than the other. I could handle anything, except for losing her. I just wanted to keep her. When we walked into the waiting room, my dad was there waiting for us. My mom had called him and asked him to come too. I was grateful for the support. I don’t remember if any words were said while we waited, I just remember being unable to stop crying. Sometimes silent tears, sometimes not but they never stopped.


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1st Annual Area 51 5k Fun Run Sept . 20. 2019 they can’t stop all of us shirt

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After the appointment, as I stood in the parking lot with my parents, my dad offered to go pick up my husband from out of town and bring him home (lucky for us, my husband works for my Dad, so getting a few days off was no problem, nor was bringing him home early from a job). I waited until my dad was minutes away from my 1st Annual Area 51 5k Fun Run Sept . 20. 2019 they can’t stop all of us shirt job site before finally making that difficult call. I had no idea how to tell my husband about the ultrasound findings, and I hated that I had to do it over the phone while he was three hours away. I think it was the hardest phone call of my life. I don’t remember much about that phone conversation, except telling him that she was missing both forearms and hands.


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Storm Area 51 September 20, 2019 shirt

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No one knows exists, who find human love, care, and comfort foreign, strange and unknown. I volunteer overseas at least once a year with the marginalized, the vulnerable. Children who have been abused, abandoned and left to die. I often get asked why I do what I do; raise funds and awareness for poverty and Storm Area 51 September 20, 2019 shirt trafficking. My standard answer was sex trafficking is a genuine fear for the young girls I volunteer with. But the other reason was I had been in an unhealthy relationship many years ago. I was never physically abused but many times I thought I would be. We met in 2014 and bonded over a mutual desire to establish a safe house for vulnerable women and children. He was a single father with a very young daughter.


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Maleficent I Hate People Vintage Shirt

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I was embarrassed telling people I was in such a relationship. I was mostly embarrassed because I was not a weak woman. Abuse comes in many forms, not all of which are physical. When someone repeatedly uses words to demean, frighten, or control someone, it’s considered verbal abuse. Abuse happens to anyone. Any kind of abuse is Maleficent I Hate People Vintage Shirt ok. So why do I do what I do? Why do I speak up about poverty and sex trafficking? It is a genuine fear of the young girls I have volunteered within South-East Asia. I understand what it feels like to have zero self-worth. I know what it’s like to be fearful of someone, never knowing when they will lash out verbally or physically. I know what it is like to feel trapped.


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Maleficent Hello Darkness My Old Friend Vintage Shirt

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I could see my bedroom dresser, the medical papers and kids school artwork stacked in a pile, and I wrote down the doctor’s words without processing them. Very serious, no cure yet, not sure, lots of research. I could hear my daughters laughing and playing in the next room. My oldest, Emily, who loves her sister fiercely, and then, Maleficent Hello Darkness My Old Friend Vintage Shirt, who was giggling while I was learning she wouldn’t be growing up at all. At only 18 months old, Marian was diagnosed with the fatal metabolic condition Niemann Pick Type C, sometimes nicknamed childhood Alzheimer’s. It also shares symptoms of Parkinson’s, ALS, and other horrific degenerative diseases. But the distinction here is while it can strike adults of any age, it often appears and begins to destroy near the beginning of life, in children.


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John Wick 20 who’s going to stop me shirt

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Your limbs twist inwards, you get something called cataplexy, which is the immediate and involuntary loss of muscle strength during laughter. As one NPC mom says, ‘NPC steals joy from laughter. NPC is always fatal. For kids like Marian, with early neurological signs under age two, it’s often fatal by age five or six. There are no John Wick 20 who’s going to stop me shirt approved treatments. So this is what we heard when the doctor said Marian has Niemann Pick Type C. All of this. All the air left the room. I wanted to give up, to fast forward through her suffering. To try to skip it somehow. But Marian is bursting with love, she is kind, she is funny, she fights for every single step forward. She’d already been fighting NPC her whole life, we just didn’t know it.


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International Harvester and Farmer Fun Tractor shirt

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This little miracle wasn’t a cure, but it was working to slow – or even in cases with the early diagnosis – seemingly stop the majority of the disease progression. But it wasn’t an easy road. It had to be given intrathecally, as an injection into the spinal fluid, for it to travel into the brain and fight back against the neurological destruction. International Harvester and Farmer Fun Tractor shirt, she would have to be sedated under anesthesia to safely receive it. Every two weeks. Indefinitely. We felt so lucky, and also completely terrified. There was a clinical trial for this drug, but you had to be four years old, and Marian was only one. This meant our only hope was accessing the drug through compassionate use. At the time, no patient in the world as young as Marian had been treated.


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Let’s Eat Kids Let’s Eat Kids Punctuation Saves Lives Hocus Pocus Halloween Shirt

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He would belittle me in front of his friends. He would be quick to tell them how immature I was when I had views that were different from his. I was told to make an effort to look better, dress in a sexy manner, so he would look good in front of his, Let’s Eat Kids Let’s Eat Kids Punctuation Saves Lives Hocus Pocus Halloween Shirt. Not long after, he would start pressuring me for sex. He would always be watching pornography and told me he would get it elsewhere because he ‘wasn’t getting any.’ He would proceed to show me the kind of pornography he enjoys. It makes me so sick because some of the women in those videos could have been trafficked. Many times I felt so numb, I had no strength to react. I found so many suggestive messages he sent to women he claimed were his friends.


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Sunflower Tats Naps And Cats shirt

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Friends, family, and beyond dropped everything to help. Emily and Marian’s preschool had a bike-a than raising four thousand dollars alone. An amazing nurse, Sean Griffith, who we have never met, bicycled across Florida to raise Sunflower Tats Naps And Cats shirt awareness for Marian. A team of people at Do/Love/Live donated hundreds of hours and talent to help people learn about Marian. We did a news story that went all over the country and spun into other coverage and opportunities that went throughout the world. Where we had a need, big or small, a kind person was graciously there. If you had asked me beforehand, I’d say things like this happen to other people, people with more friends, bigger networks, that it would never happen to us.


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Always Sunny In Philadelphia Kitten Mittons Cats Lover shirt

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We are all mothers, fathers, sisters, brothers, aunts, uncles and grandparents. And now you are part of our family.’ Suddenly, we felt safe, we felt home. How can anything be kinder than these kindnesses? When we couldn’t put one foot in front of another, other people gave us the air and motion to do so. Surrounding Emily and Marian with love and Always Sunny In Philadelphia Kitten Mittons Cats Lover shirt. We started flying back and forth to Chicago, simultaneously trying to raise awareness about this horrible disease no one has ever heard of, trying to save Marian’s life. We didn’t know if the treatment would work, or how well it would work or for how long. After five trips we were wonderfully able to begin Marian’s treatments at Children’s Hospital Los Angeles, where she continues going today, every other Friday, over two years later. After five treatments, Marian began walking.


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Hippie Girl Assuming I’m Just An Old Lady Was Your First Mistake Shirt

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Recently, we were at the beach and Marian kept losing her footing trying to climb a small hill. She turned and sadly said, I don’t want to. And then her incredible big sister, at six years old, silently walked down, took both her hands, lifted her up, and pulled her up with quiet support and steadfast determination. They made it up together. At the Hippie Girl Assuming I’m Just An Old Lady Was Your First Mistake Shirt, Marian threw her arms up and shouted with a huge smile, I did it Yay while her sister danced around her. This is how I feel. We made the steps but it is other people who carried us. Kindness matters. Small or large. It matters. It gives you a breath when you can’t find any air. It makes a difference, for us a life-altering one.


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Bigfoot Storm Area 51 they can’t stop all sunset shirt

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Life surprises us at the moment we need it most. All you have to do is have Faith. Growing up my mom and dad divorced when I was very young 5 or 6, I think. The memories from how we lived while they were together are vague and distant, but I remember yelling, drinking, drugs and poverty. My grandma passed away and my mom wouldn’t allow us to see Bobo. She said he didn’t want to see us, but I knew it was because of Bigfoot Storm Area 51 they can’t stop all sunset shirt. At 6 and 7 I learned what pure evil is. I knew not to talk to my dad if he was drinking and I knew that playing outside with my brother and sister was the best thing. I knew to go to my Grandma’s and Bobo’s was a safe haven. My mom went on to marry a man I’ll call Tim. I will not refer to him as a step-father because that was never something that was deserved.


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Dustin Roastbeef Cow On Sun shirt

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I longed to have a happy family or belong somewhere. I met my friend that I will call Harley in 6th grade. An amazing person who instantly recognized I needed a friend. I started going home with her during the weekends when Dustin Roastbeef Cow On Sun shirt would allow it. Harley’s house was the place that makes you feel at home. Her mom and dad were divorced but were both amazing people who were still friends. Sometimes we would stay at her mom’s but most of the time we went to her dads. He was the first person to ever show me how a dad is supposed to treat a daughter. The first man that showed me love like that. As the years went by me and she grew apart because of course my mom and Tim moved us all over.


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6 Marcus Stroman Toronto Blue Jays Thank You For The Memories Shirt

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So here it is 2001 in a strange city, a violent man who would throw and hit and cuss us if he was mad at my mom. It took me 2 months to finally save and get money to go back home and when I did, I went back to that same high school. I got to meet my Dad’s dad who I became very close with and came to call him gramps. sadly, he passed away in 6 Marcus Stroman Toronto Blue Jays Thank You For The Memories Shirt. I overcame a lot of things and I have an amazing life now. I lived with my real dad and stepmom for a bit but then I saw my dad wasn’t as sober as he let on. I stayed here and there and just anywhere I could until my sister moved back down here and at me at 15, and here at 17, we got a 2-bedroom trailer for 250 a month.


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I put together gift baskets that were full of pampering items, just for a birth mom, and delivered them to local hospitals and adoption agencies nationwide. Each basket contained a letter from a fellow birth mother, letting them know they were not alone in their journey. I traveled all over the states telling my adoption story and delivering birth mother New York Yankees 1957 Continue Being Awesome Everyday Yankees Baseball Shirt. After 14 years, and thousand-plus baskets later, I turned the non-profit over to new hands. I put a lot of effort into trying to fill this hole in my heart, where my little butterfly once was. The hole was always there, tainting every positive thing in my life. I could be joyful, but with a tinge of emptiness. Grief followed me everywhere I went. Every year on her birthday, every Mother’s Day, every holiday, every moment that passed I felt her absence.


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